Women’s Woes

In the past month, we heard multiple cases of atrocities against women in India. It is not a sudden spike in these cases, but the fact that they have come to light only now. Being a woman, whether it is in India or any part of the world, we have faced violence, suppression, injustice, and more for many centuries.

I am not just talking about incidences of abuse, oppression of our rights, lack of opportunities, etc. I speak about the general apathy towards the daily struggles women face in society. I talk about the everyday battles women face, be it working women, stay-at-home moms, single women, young and old.

When we speak about successful women, we automatically list historical figures, women entrepreneurs, world leaders, artists, rights activists, or women with similar careers. We never look at the silent workers around us, like our family, or housemaids, or neighbours, or the vendors in our locality, etc.

Today, I want to tell my readers about the hardships and triumphs in the life of one such everyday woman. I want to introduce you to Bhagyamma, a housemaid who worked at our house for many years. Sadly, she passed away recently, and that was when I learned about the hard life that she had to lead.

Bhagyamma was born into a regular middle-class family in Pune, Maharashtra. Her parents were small-time farmers, and her brothers and sisters worked in blue-collar jobs. Once she reached marriageable age, her parents arranged a match for her in a well-to-do family. Although the groom was a widower, Bhagyamma’s parents felt he and his family were decent people.

The initial years of her marriage were peaceful, and she had two children. The trouble started when Bhagyamma’s husband became sick and passed away. Once she became a widow, Bhagyamma’s in-laws took away all her husband’s property and kicked her out of the house. Not only did she lose her husband, but she also lost the safety and security of her home.

When she tried to seek justice from the elders in the community, their patriarchy and misogyny were displayed. They refused to support a single widowed mother. Bhagyamma’s parents also disowned her, saying that she was a daughter who was married out and, hence, not a member of their family anymore.

In such dire straits, Bhagyamma came to my city with her young children, looking for a job. She took up work as a housemaid. She worked for multiple families in our neighbourhood, and that was how we met her.

With the help of a few sympathetic friends, she moved into a house in the nearby ghetto and enrolled her children in a government-run school. Although Bhagyamma fell on hard times, she never lost her dignity or integrity. She was an honest worker and earned the respect of all her employers.

She was always ready to lend a helping hand with a smile on her face. Apparently, she encouraged and guided many newlywed brides in her ghetto to gain financial independence so that no one faced a similar situation as hers. 

She also learned about the various government schemes available for the poor and used them wisely to educate her children. She always taught her children that only through education can they hope for a better future. She made sure that her daughter earned a degree and a steady job before getting married.

Bhagyamma ensured that her son and daughter graduated from college and took them back to her hometown to ask for their rightful share of inheritance. Seeing that she was no longer destitute and that her children were productive degree-holders, her husband’s family relented and gave them their share of the property.

After years of struggle, Bhagyamma returned to her hometown with her head held high. She earned back the respect of her community and got both her children married. We heard that Bhagyamma spent her later years living peacefully with her children’s family. After seeing their mother struggle for them, both her children took good care of her till her last day.

Even though she moved back to Pune, Bhagyamma kept in touch with all her friends and neighbours here, and that was how we received regular news about her. She would also visit us occasionally and proudly share her joys with us. 

When we heard that she passed away, it saddened all of us. Although we are sad, we also need to remember and celebrate the indomitable spirit of this warrior woman. She fought through hard times against all her family and community. She proved to them that she was not a weak and lonely woman but a strong mother who could achieve anything with strength and determination.